Window on the World

Or "Window on Your World," rather. On April 19 (which was the same day we got our second glimpse of your sister), we got to see you for the first time! On the surface, it wasn't as reflective as I'd have liked, because your sister was hustling around the waiting room, into this, into that, spinning the rolling stool, but even with all that, the first moment I saw you, everything in my heart got quiet and still, and I thought, "Ohhh, hello...." There's a wonder in seeing you that's like, well, I hope you'll not think this irreverent, because I hope you'll come to know what a beautiful book it is, but there's something in glimpsing you that's akin to Wilbur's wonder with the little spiders in Charlotte's Web, just a magical, calm, heart-stopping moment. I'm afraid you'll think that it's not new or marvelous or incredible any longer, and that's just so wrong - it's miraculous. YOU are miraculous, even now, with your tiny silent self bobbing in a dark sea. Every day, I find a few moments to just be still, to speak to you in my heart, to let you know how much we'd love you already. I can't believe how quickly the first three months have gone - the end of the first trimester is coming up in just a week or so. (Okay, ten days - I'm counting.) I've not been sick even once, and the nausea, which was so bad before, hasn't been difficult to manage at all. I've been tired though, so very, very tired. Not sleepy tired really, or not so much, but physically fatigued. My arms feel like lead in the afternoons and I think about the possibility of crawling to the kitchen. Your sister's taking it easy on me as well, for the most part, so that helps. She takes nice, long naps every afternoon, and while some days it seems like a reeeeeally long time until 2:00, she rests well and consistently, so I can have a few moments before I start work to gather myself, talk to you and rest a bit. We've been traveling a lot, which has left me tired too, but I'm resting up now, trying to feed you good food, and just generally find time each day to be your mama. So looking forward to having the job in person!